The Non-Sexist Version of Bros Before Hoes

If You Wanna Be My Lover

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 Sure, it’s only natural - you meet someone, fall in love, all those sweet, sweet pheromones… your friend-time starts to dwindle as your attention is focused on your new lover.

This Oxford University study found that in a new relationship, people’s inner circle of close friends dropped from five to four, as they inadvertently phased out two of their closest buddies to make space for their new main squeeze.

But… my first, my last, my everything, right?

Pipe down Barry. Calm your melodious tones. Your first and last is all good, but maybe not quite the everything.

According to this study, it’s actually friendships, not relationships that have the biggest impact on your long term happiness. At the age of 45, people with fewer than 10 friends had significant differences in their psychological well-being compared to those with wider social circles. Whether or not those people were married made no difference at all.

And, in another study of 65 year olds, William Chopik found that meaningful friendships were stronger indicators of health and happiness than familial relationships.

Time to give Tinder a time out?

Making friends as an adult is notoriously tricky. Joining things that force you to be sociable, (like team sports, cat appreciation societies, or pottery classes) could be a good spot to find some like-minded mates. Or, switch your focus to swiping right on a potential pal with apps like Bumble BFF and Friender.

“I ain’t got time for that ship”

Whether relationships or friendships, scheduling in quality time with your nearest and dearest (as well as your partner), is a must for your lifelong wellbeing. So don’t give up your date nights, but make sure to prioritise those poker/book club/sober vegan life drawing classes too.

FOR THE NERDY: You’ve got a friend. [source: Psychology Today]